Should auld acquaintance be forgot....

If we are all awake at midnight tonight, you will likely find us down by the Belltower ringing in 2010. It's supposedly good luck if you pull the rope and ring the bell at least once. Adios, 2009!

We worked out a solution to the sleep situation. I sleep in the bed originally intended for Daniel - it is the darkest and quietest and since I am the worst insomniac, that's where I go. Daniel sleeps in the room with his dad. While this is certainly not ideal, it works. I sleep better, and so does my husband, since I am not thrashing around trying to get comfortable AND kicking him every 5 minutes or so because he's snoring. :)

My mother keeps the dog out on the pullout sofa with her, and he doesn't get up and wander, nor bark. Yay!! I like him a little more today than I did yesterday.

Being home is so much fun, even if my husband and I get conscripted to be the slave labor. I cannot tell you how right it feels to drink Cheerwine in this county! Oh, and Daniel and his grandmother are at Discovery Place today....so we kind of get the house to ourselves.

Wee one is having the time of his life here with my mother's dog. I am NOT. I enjoy being here...it's just that the dog is not my favorite being.

For starters, he's little, and I'm a fan of big breeds. If you're going to get a dog, get a big breed, a DOG. If you're going to get a small dog, you may as well get a rat. It would be cheaper. Plus, he severely interrupted my sleep last night. I had forgotten that dogs have to get off the bed (of COURSE he decided to sleep with us) to investigate every siren, every leaf that rustles, and every creak of the house. That did not go over well with me, as I'm not a fan of anything that interrupts my sleep before I'm done sleeping. And, he's a barky nervous little thing. Ugh.

Sorry. I'll take some cheese with the whine. One thing that doesn't surprise me is that he loves my husband. All animals love my husband.

In serious need of....

....some CAFFEINE!

I don't know how people who live without it. Especially who switch their bodies' schedule between nightshift and dayshift (hehe....that originally came out nightshit. not entirely inappropriate.)

Carpal tunnel is still bugging me so typing is still minimal. My husband says it's too bad carpal tunnel doesn't affect my mouth. :)

Going home!

Tomorrow we are leaving to go to Salisbury to celebrate Christmas and Hubs' birthday with both our families. We're stopping on the way in Chapel Hill to see Hubs' niece and her kids and drop off presents that way.

I'm excited, mostly because it's rare that we leave our town for much of anything. And, because there are some things that we can only get in Salisbury - DJs Pizza, for one. Plus, even though I have a 12-pack of Cheerwine in the kitchen, it just doesn't taste the same outside Rowan County.

Can't wait to see both sets of parents and just be 'home' for a while.

Our luck

Our digital camera died - I mean, kaput - Christmas Eve. So there will be no Christmas Day pictures. Sorry!

As soon as we remedy the camera situation I will take pics of my boy in his new 'housejacket' (bathrobe) and playing his new (real) guitar, complete with shoulder strap. Those were by far the two biggest hits.

Oh, and we all got matching t-shirts. That's gonna be cool.

Linus breaks it down

Happy Birthday!!!

....to two fabulous people.

1) Jesus (the Christ)

and

2) Jesus (my husband)

I could not have picked a better husband had I searched the universe far and wide. I know he won't read this (he never reads our 'family' blog) but I am so grateful he's MINE, and I hope his birthday is as awesome as he is.

I'll let y'all guess how old. ;-)

Christmas Eve Gift

A longstanding family tradition here is that of 'Christmas Eve gift'. That is, whoever is the first to holler said phrase at the top of their lungs on Christmas Eve gets to open one of their presents. I hear stories of my long-deceased great-grandmother either a) staying up 'til just after midnight or b) rising at the crack of dawn and waking the rest of the house hollering "CHRISTMAS EVE GIFT!"

So we're carrying on the tradition here. Usually it's me that wins the prize, but my mother got hold of the wee one this morning before I woke up and reminded him. As soon as I stumbled out of bed still wiping the sleep crust from my eyes...."MOM! I WANT MY - how was I supposed to say that, Dad - I WANT MY CHRISTMAS EVE PRESENT!"

Grandma Howell would be proud.

More books!!

I probably have a pathological addiction to books. I have probably ten on my shelf that I'va yet to read, and here come four more that I've ordered thanks to an unexpected gift deposit into my Paypal account. Two Dostoevsky and two Ernie Pyle, all of which I'm excited about reading. First things first, as I'm not done w/ Citizen Soldiers yet.

This will have to do as a blog post today - typing one handed thanks to carpal tunnel!

Christmas play

and I had to put a pic of my handsome boys!!

Away in a manger

This is not my favorite Christmas song, but it is my favorite version of the song. Third Day's album 'Christmas Offerings' is probably my favorite of all time, even more so than Elvis' Christmas (actually a compilation of the two Christmas albums he put out). That's saying a lot!


In other news, I joined our local YMCA last week in hopes of really getting my fat butt in shape. I like the variety - don't have to do the same old treadmill every day, and if I do decide to run a little bit I can do it on a treadmill which is not nearly so bad on these joints as the asphalt in our neighborhood. I really like the elliptical and cross-country ski machines the most. Plus, the weights are the best. When summer hits you can bet I will be swimming. Hoping to get the boys to join and sign up the little one for karate, just to see how he does!

Blogger block

I'm having a hard time thinking of something meaningful to post today.

Oh. I guess I should mention something about the Christmas program at church. It was, by all accounts, a success. I love it when my son really 'gets' things about God and participates fully in church - singing, dancing (it is a Pentecostal church, after all), and generally behaving well. It makes me proud as a mother, and it makes me grateful as a wife to know that my husband is just as vested as I am in making sure our child(ren) understand that God exists and loves them. (Hubs is the one who gets him up/ready and takes him to church, as I am generally worthless on Sunday mornings. That is a great blessing.

Pictures forthcoming tomorrow, as I'm on the baby laptop and the pics are stored on the big one.

Try saying this three times fast...

"...I gotta bring the freakin' frankincense."

Apparently Wise Man #2 said this at play rehearsal today and my boy (Wise Man #3) has repeated it ever since.

Please disregard all that whining in my previous post, for a couple reasons. 1) It did not snow; and 2) I did not have to go to work last night. I got flexed on call for the entire 12 hours, and it could not have come at a better time. Apparently census was REALLY low, so they put me 'on-call', which means I have to stay at home/reachable on the phone but otherwise free.

I didn't get called in. Woohoo! So along with one more night of decent rest I am feeling fine. Maybe Daniel felt better than I did - as soon as they called me, he skipped around the house - "She's not going to work, she's not going to work, la la la la la la la, she's gonna stay with me..."

I might actually get to go work out today, and Daniel has rehearsal for his Christmas play at church, so I might get to take him to that as well! And, since I'll only have worked one night instead of two, I might actually feel good enough to go to church and see him perform. That would be supremely triumphant!

(Forgive the stream-of-consciousness, mundane nature of this post. I have a fairly boring life. What can I say?!)

No to snow!

I am normally a fan of snow, but not today! That's because I'm about to have to drive 48 miles to work and back tonight and tomorrow night. The great state of North Carolina does NOT do snow very well, and unfortunately, hospitals don't close just because nurses don't feel like driving in the bad weather. Sigh. Suck it up.

For those of you who are wondering...not pregnant yet. And if you weren't wondering, well, now you know anyway. :)

Jesus vs the Abominable Snowmonster

I wish I'd been smart enough to take pics of this...

One thing that I have always loved about my boy is his imagination - from turning train tracks into skates and a hockey stick to making musical instruments out of - well, anything - his little imagination is about as vivid as they come, and has been since he breathed his first.

Last night he decided that the pieces from our Nativity set - already explicitly explained that they are off-limits and not toys - were going to be characters in his own little drama. First, Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus were sleeping, then eating. And then, one of my lightweight dumbbells morphed into the Abominable Snowmonster . Mary, Joseph, and Jesus decided this was no good. They stopped what they were doing, jumped all over the Snowmonster, knocked him over, and then "went back to Bethlehem to have a party." He then laid the other dumbbell in front of them so that "no more Abominable Snowmonsters can get back into Bethlehem". All this in our livingroom floor, ladies and gents. So much for the rules around here....oh well.

This is my life. Every day. And I must say, I have a pretty good life!

Books!!!

Some books I've read this year:
To End All Wars by Ernest Gordon
Goodbye, Darkness by William Manchester
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque (that was a reread)*
The Road Back by Erich Maria Remarque*
We Who Dared to Say No to War by Murray Polner and Thomas E Woods, Jr.
Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne*
Generation Kill by Evan Wright*
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini*

Some books I've started this year but not finished:
Lying-In: A History of Childbirth in America by Richard & Dorothy Wertz - a little too dry - even for me.
The Mahabharata - one of many sacred Hindu texts, and the world's longest epic poem (literally - I'm not trying to be funny). I should have done some research before buying this, at least so that I'd realize it's 900 pages long. I fully plan on finishing it, because it's quite fascinating, but it won't happen in 2009. :-) Obviously, I am reading an English translation, and not the original Sanskrit.
The Intimate Lives of the Founding Fathers - interesting, but there was a limit on how many consecutive times I could check it out of the library.
Maverick Marine: General Smedley D. Butler and the Contradictions of American Military History - I started reading this in one of my book-ADD spells and consequently never finished it. I think it will be good, I just have to get back in the right mood for it.
Forever War by Joe Haldeman - recommended to me by my adopted brother. It's a bit too sci-fi for me; the concepts I get, but the details get in the way and I lost interest about 30 pages in. (Sorry, Spook.) He insists I give it another shot, so I probably will -eventually.

Hoping to read in 2010:
Forever Peace by Joe Haldeman - Spook insists this is not sci-fi, so I'm giving it a go. I really do want to like Joe Haldeman.
The Mahabharata - I dunno, this one might not happen 'til 2011.
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson - recommended by a like-minded friend from work
The Worst Hard Time by Timothy Egan
Anything by JRR Tolkien that I haven't already read

* - extremely good and I recommend it.

11 days and counting!

We have a big day planned today - finally making things look a bit Christmasy around here, since we are all mostly feeling better from whatever bug that was that made us all feel like crapola! #1 on the list is a Christmas tree, since we've not yet put one up! We have to go find one we like and get the lights on it (at the very least).

I promised Daniel we'd make Christmas cookies today and hopefully that won't be too terrible. He loves being my 'kitchen helper' (as he calls it) but now I know how my grandma must've felt when I got old enough to want to help her in the kitchen!! When he gets older I want him to look fondly on his childhood Christmases - fingers crossed for a good time in the kitchen today.

At 10ish is his school's Christmas party, so we're going to that (probably going to skip the rest of the school day), then we have to get to Target and find our last remaining Christmas presents - for grandparents and I'm going to try and throw some clothes in there for Daniel since the poor child is outgrowing everything he has.

Books:
Currently I'm reading Citizen Soldiers, by Stephen Ambrose. Really interesting book. Firsthand accounts of the push across Europe from D-Day until VE day, from the perspective of American GIs and German soldiers. I listened to about half of it on CD when I checked it out from the library but reading it is so much more fulfilling.

I love this song anyway, and this is probably the best version (at least in my opinion) of it that I've ever heard. What's your favorite Christmas song? (Or if you're like me, you have a multitude of favorites...)

Happy Birthday

I doubt she will read this, but this is a birthday shout-out to my sister-in-law Guadalupe! It's easy for me to remember because she was born on el Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe.

This is a HUGE holiday in Mexico and for Mexican Catholics everywhere. I remember once, when I worked in the community health center that I worked at previously, we scheduled a diabetes education class for Dec. 12. Yeah, that was a mistake. Hmmmm. Food and festivities, or learning about what NOT to eat when you're diabetic....lemme guess.

Christmas 1915

I never get tired of hearing this song. The Christmas truce actually happened in 1914 - the song is a year off - but the point is the same. Stories of peace in unlikely places warm my heart and give me hope.

I absolutely loathe being sick for this long. A day or two, no biggie. This has been going on since Sunday night!!!! I'm tired of it! There is so much to get done around the house - we have not even put up our Christmas tree, nor wrapped any presents. This is NOT a good time of year to be sick!

Today I woke up at 2:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep but lay in the bed anyway because I didn't feel like doing anything else. After Daniel got up and I got him his breakfast and we hung out for a little while I went back to bed (Jesus was up and about by then - woot for stay-at-home dads!) from 10am til almost 5 this afternoon! This is really crazy. I'm trying to make myself useful - working on paying some bills etc. - but really feel like crapola and would rather get back in the bed right now.

Bring 'em home

In 1965


A little more recent:

Sick day

One upside about being sick: my husband's beef soup.
Wait, two things; the second is being able to catch up on all the Netflix I've missed. Right now I'm watching SNL's Best of Chris Farley...classic!

I just finished watching 'The Killing Fields', about the Cambodian civil war and the horrid things done to the Cambodian people by the Khmer Rouge. I'd give the movie an A-/B+, but had I not read books about it beforehand, I'd probably rate it lower. The film assumes the viewer knows history and politics of the region; not much background explanation to be had.

I'd put off watching it for a long time, because I wasn't sure if I could handle all the grisly scenes I'd heard. In actuality it wasn't as bad as I'd thought, so that was (for me, at least) a plus. That's not to make light of what these people endured - because I'm sure there is no cinematographer that can do justice to that. Just saying, that especially with my brother just having come home from a war I didn't want to have to go back to that place in my mind.

Anyway, it's a good movie and worth the 2.5 hours I spent watching it.

Let there be peace on earth

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be
With God as our Father,
Brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me,
Let this be the moment now
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow:
To take each moment and live each moment
In peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth,
And let it begin with me.

I remember singing this song in my church choir when I was about 8, when the conflict making the most headlines was that of Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland. I remember thinking to myself even then that the world would be such a nicer place if we all could take those words to heart, and today as they came back to me (for reasons I may never know!) I think about how much hasn't really changed. Most everyone I know says they want a gentler, more peaceful world...and it has to begin with us. Making my world a more peaceful place has to start with me.

Cold, rainy weather is perfect sleeping weather. And when you work nights like I do, you look forward to perfect-sleeping-weather days!

Not feeling well today. I think it's whatever Hubs had. Not bad enough to stay home from work tonight but bad enough to be miserable in the process. Thanks, honey! I look forward to sharing all my snot and stuff with you just as you have so kindly shared with me!!!

Three most common words heard around here these days: "Mom, I'm hungry."

I have given birth to a freaking eating machine. He's five, and already he will eat for lunch a hotdog (or two), a string cheese, a whole orange, and a glass of milk, followed by a yogurt or some other dessert and an hour later he will be hungry again. Genuinely hungry.

He's perfectly normal height- and weightwise, so I'm not worried about it in that regard. I just worry about what the heck I am going to do to put food in the pantry when he's 15 if he's already eating like a horse at five.

Playing Hockey

When you don't have actual skates nor an actual hockey stick, you improvise with train tracks. I think he looks a tad like Chad LaRose, myself.

(And when you've fixed the datestamp multiple times and it still insists on staying in 2006, you throw up your hands in defeat!)

Treading water

Hubs is sick. Not sure if it's just a bad cold or if it's H1N1 (who cares, really, the point is that he feels like shyte and is in bed asleep). I am barely awake, my midday nap having completely thrown off my sleep schedule. I didn't fall asleep until about 8am today, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I slept from then til about noon, and now am trying to hold my eyes open.

The wee one, however, is wide awake and feeling great!

We are in survivial mode today. Don't come over; you won't like what you see!

Mexicanos vs. gringos

So the young'un went with my mom to visit her side of the family for Turkey Day (I had to work the Friday & Saturday afterward, because babies apparently don't get the memo that we'd like a day off here & there!). Anyway, so while they're there, my grandfather asks the wee one what the difference is between a 'Mexicano' and a 'gringo'.

His response: "A Mexicano is a big man that eats a lot of hot chiles. A gringo just eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

Tonight I put my child to bed at around 8:30pm, pretty much the usual. Wasn't sure if he was going to be tired or not - he got up around 11 this morning, due to being up a couple times during the night sick (stupid live nasal H1N1 vax!). Anyway, he has watched Wall-E this week and has had Wall-E brain. *I of course always have to be Eve because I'm a girl.* (As much as I hate the actual premise of the movie, Wall-E himself is a pretty endearing character.)

I hear puttering around coming around from his room around 9:30pm, go in to check on him, he is not in his bed nor on the bottom bunk either. Ask hubby if he's seen him, get a no. Of course, the worst-case scenario goes through my mind! I go look under his bed *justincase* and two big bright eyes look back at me and my child tells me, "I'm just being Wall-E. I'm cubing up and shutting down for the night, Mommy."

What a funny kid.

Fat day

I'm having an 'I'm fat and I don't care' day. That translates into - eating chocolate chip cookie dough (which I bought specifically to be eaten raw) and watching 'The Golden Girls.' There. Take that, skinny people!

I'll go for a walk later today.

And, my mom now knows that we're trying for baby #2. Feels better to have that horse out of the barn.

Ft. Hood

A few things amaze me about Ft. Hood. (Before I start, however, let me say how my heart breaks for the folks who lost their lives, as well as for their families. I'm a military family member too and this hits close to home for me as well.)

1) Maj. Hasan walks into a base and kills 13 unarmed Americans, he's vile, a coward, hated, and people are calling for his head on a platter. Troops in Afghanistan kill 13 unarmed Afghans, it is barely even newsworthy. Why the disconnect? Why do lives matter, even to 'pro-life' Americans, only if they are American troop lives? (And sometimes, given the warmongering that so often comes from that contingent, I wonder if American troop lives even matter.)

2) I have heard from several news entities that Maj. Hasan experienced a bit of cognitive dissonance (if you want to call it that) over this country being at war in Muslim nations. He fought deployment to Iraq and tried to fight deployment to Afghanistan as well, because he did not want to be part of an invading force against Muslims (doesn't seem likely that he'd have been in direct combat ops but still part of the force). I hear this as if it's such a big deal. Shouldn't Christians refuse to take up arms against fellow Christians as well? (Really, I think Christians should refuse to take up arms period, as they did in the first 3 centuries after Christ, but that's a different story.)

3) I find it quite disturbing how the military in general operates toward its members. We who pride ourselves on the freedoms we have, for not feeling the need to go along with the 'sheeple', for some reason we have no problem with the government stripping our troops of the rights we shout and protest for in the streets. I have to wonder - had this man been able to switch positions or duty stations, like civilians can - would we be grieving as we are today? The whole way in which the military operates on the principle that they own their troops...it bothers me immensely.

4) I personally wish this man had deserted instead of killing people. Desertion isn't a pretty process and doesn't come without a price, but it's preferable to murder.

I found this on the blog God's Politics, and thought it to be one of the most well-thought-out responses to the insanity of the shooting and its aftermath.

As the facts continue to be revealed in this tragedy, Major Hasan will most definitely be the focus of an entire nation’s rage. Without a doubt, he will suffer the unforgiving wrath of public opinion. As the Church, I hope we can find it in ourselves to encourage our neighbors and friends to remember his humanity, however tarnished it has become, and extend to him what compassion we can muster. If we succumb to the temptation to hold malice and rage towards Major Hasan, we will, as John Howard Yoder might put it, become just another sociological reflection of the world and embody the message that there is truly nothing new about Christ. We have a beautiful opportunity, as Christ’s body, to show the world that hatred and scorn, and ultimately violence, does not have to have the last word. (link)

Veterans Day

Veterans Day always makes me stop and think.

I used to be a big 'thank the troops' person; not anymore. 'Thank a vet' has, for me, morphed into 'Hug a vet' for a few reasons that I think are valid. Hugging is a bit less socially appropriate but the things combat vets have done and seen, I don't see that they want our thanks. Among the vets I know (most of them combat vets), they'd rather not relive all that. Thank them for killing people? Thank them for participating in things they didn't always agree with? Thank them for watching their buddies get blown to smithereens? Thank them for obeying the orders of the State? I don't think so.

So, I say hug a vet instead. Different meaning conveyed altogether. It says, 'I care that you suffered as you did. I care that you went and did and saw things that no one should ever have to do or see. I care that you didn't know you could say no. I care that you cannot put it out of your mind. I care that you lost buddies to the jungle, to machine guns, to an IED, to suicide. I care that some of your wounds have not healed.' That's why I say 'hug a vet' instead.

Halloween

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.....

I want to read this book.

The latter things, and the former things

Funny how God speaks to me through Scripture that the preacher's not even preaching about during church. Wednesday night he was talking about something completely unrelated but my eyes wandered over to this passage and it hit me like a ton of bricks!!

Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue, and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone. (Luke 11:42)

And I am so good at the very same thing. I'm really good at going to church and doing my Bible study group every Wednesday and doing my homework in between the Bible studies. But where in my life do I take the time to do, as Micah said, and as Christ commands here, to act justly and love mercy? How do I see to it that the refuse of our society - the homeless, the addicts, the prisoners, immigrants, the elderly, the most marginalized - what am I doing to see that they are loved? I'm good at talking about it. What am I doing to make sure that these folks see Christ in me?

There's nothing wrong with going to Bible studies and church and all that. It's a command, in fact. But what am I doing outside that? Nothing. And that is not cool at all. Because if I can tell everybody else they have to be born again to see Heaven because Christ said so, then you can tell me that I have to actively love people...because Christ said that too.

I am searching for ways to do this. I am looking for ways to love people actively.

Books

I just finished reading The Road Back, by Erich Maria Remarque, more well-known for his classic All Quiet on the Western Front. The Road Back is a continuation of that story.

To say it's a really good read is an understatement. Both books are excellent, really. I've read All Quiet twice, and shed tears both times, and did the same during the movie based on the book. I truly believe anyone who votes to send boys off to fight in wars should read both these books before they vote.

There is another, Three Comrades, that I'm anxious to read, but I've checked out a couple books from the library that I have to read first.

And...a song by Elton John. Can't embed it in here so I've enclosed a link. (Warning: a few graphic images.)

Probably what those books did for me is show me the universality of war. In that war (a completely unnecessary one, by the way) Germany was supposed to be our enemy. Yet in these books, one can't help but feel sympathy and grief for these poor fellows fighting a war that their government has told them is necessary, that they don't really understand, don't really care to be fighting, and all they really want is to get home. Could that not be any soldier fighting any war anywhere in the world? And since people are people everywhere, do we really need to be killing our fellow humans??

Tough reads but well worth it.

Daniel funny of the day: "Mom, God is like a ghost. Sorta. Because he wears white clothes."

Puck that

I've recently become obsessed with NHL hockey. I think it's started when my friend Kirsi, who came to see us for a few days this summer, and I went to see the Hurricanes' last playoff game vs. the Penguins. We went because she is Finnish, she loves hockey, and there are several Finns that play for them. Anyway....

It was a terrible game, a nightmare. A horrible beating that you can't divert your eyes from (my blog, my grammatical rules). But I LOVED it, had a BLAST. The sounds of the stick on the puck, the sound of bodies slamming against the boards, the smell of the ice (yes, ice does have a smell, at least hockey arena ice does!), the fast pace of the game, the grittiness, the feel that it's a working-man's game...I loved it all. Even the fights, pacifist that I am. (Knowing that these guys get paid an insane amount of money helps me not feel too sorry for them.) It is all so intriguing....and I somehow can't get enough of it.

Recently we cancelled several channels from our satellite service, and I didn't realize that among the channels we cancelled were the Fox Sports channels, which is where we get our hockey...check that, where I get MY hockey from. So, that result in a lightning-fast subscription to NHL Gamecenter, which allows me to watch any game I want on my laptop. Any game from this year or from their archive, I can watch multiple games at once, or I do a picture-in-picture dealio. Pretty sweet for $20 a month.

Other than the Canes, I have no particular team that I root for. I just watch 'em all to get a feel for rules (I am still learning) and I like seeing what the Canes have to look forward to, depending on who's playing, of course.

My husband thinks hockey is stupid but I don't care for two reasons: 1) I think he'd like it if I could just get him to see that it's essentially soccer on ice; and 2) he likes and does so much for which he doesn't ask my approval, it just seems fair. So far the Canes are off to a pretty sucky season but I'm used to that. I'm a Cubs fan.

So between the NHL and Heels basketball, this fall/winter oughta be pretty sweet.

Daniel funny of the day: "Daddy, you're supposed to be jealous of me. I'm sitting here snuggling with your girlfriend."

The Warrior Song

I find this really disturbing. I think it portrays our troops the wrong way - a bunch of bloodthirsty hooligans, which the whopping majority are not. I would also be willing to bet that it was not written by someone who has actually seen combat. I dearly, sincerely hope it was not written by someone who professes to follow Jesus.

But I say to you that hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?

IUFDs suck. They just suck.

On the hate crimes bill

Senate just passed a piece of legislation outlawing hate crimes against gays. President Obama has said he'd sign it into law when it reaches him. And I say, it's about freaking time. This is not about whether you think homosexuality is right or wrong; this is about us (as a society) recognizing human beings' right to be what they are, as long as they are in a consenting relationship, without being threatened, attacked, or intimidated.

Something that bothers me greatly is how certain members of the Religious Right have taken this law and turned it into something it does not, and will not mean. It doesn't mean that preachers can't preach that homosexuality is wrong. It doesn't mean that you can't peacefully protest [insert your cause here].* What it means is that you cannot attack lesbians because they are lesbians. You can't spray paint "God hates f---s" (I can't write that word out) on their house. As a Christian, do you really think those things are okay?

(* as a side note - so what if it does mean you can't preach that? Since when does the Church follow the laws of the State anyway?)
From a Christian News Wire article: "...a letter is being hand-delivered to every member of the United States Senate imploring conservatives to join Senator Jim DeMint's filibuster of the pending Hate Crimes bill, which would criminalize preaching the Gospel and put preachers in the crosshairs.The letter explains that, in its current form, the Hate Crimes legislation would: "Silence the moral voice of the Church"...

I bolded the parts that bother me most. First, I'm angry that people equate preaching against homosexuality with preaching the Gospel. Preach against that if you want, but that's not the Gospel. The Gospel is that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. THAT is the gospel, and far be it for me to preach any other.

Second, the Church is just now getting angry about its moral voice being silenced? Sorry, the Church silenced its own moral voice about 1700 years ago when it became enmeshed with the empire (that is, when we began to operate like the Caesars and/or within the confines they placed). Where was the Church in this country during the Salem witch trials? Where was the Church when slaves were considered 1/3 of a person? Where was the Church when we slaughtered Native Americans and marched their survivors onto reservations? Where was the Church when Japanese Americans were interned for being Japanese? Where was the Church when the KKK was burning crosses and lynching people? Where is the Church now while we bomb Iraqis and Afghans off the map? Why have we been so afraid to act like the Church?

I'm all for the government leaving me alone and letting me live. But, I'm also sad that in the 21st century it has to be legislated that you can't beat people up because they are black, Jewish, gay, or whatever.

Some internal struggles

Lately I have been struggling with the eternal question of where God is when people's lives seem to be falling apart. Where is He when bad things happen to people who it seems just don't deserve it? Because I will be honest, there are times when it would appear He has kind of fallen asleep at the wheel. And if I'm going to be really honest, it hasn't been a struggle of 'lately.' It's been a struggle of 'a long time.' I have to wonder why two coworkers have had children die in the last year, people I love dearly struggle with alcoholism, babies must suffer so as they withdraw from drugs, and wars are allowed to continue causing the mayhem, waste, and wrecked lives they cause.

I'm sure you can think of your own; this is by no means an exhaustive list. Any or all of the above would (to me) be perfect justification for God to swoop down with His God-wand and fix things. I've spent some time being angry at God and even wondering if He really is all He's cracked up to be, even sometimes wondering if it's worth being a believer if (pardon the language, some of you) shit's gonna happen anyway.

Funny how God works. Last night at church the subject was a completely unrelated one, but the preacher had us turn to a chapter of Isaiah (he had us looking at different verses but I found these instead) that outlines pretty much what I've been struggling with:
"The way of peace of they do know know; there is no justice in their paths. They have turned them into crooked roads; no one who walks in them will know peace.

So justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead.

We all growl like bears; we moan mournfully like doves. We look for justice, but find none; for delieverance, but it is far away." Isaiah 59:8-11

It answers none of my questions but there is some comfort for me to know that God includes things like this in His word. That that's all part and parcel of being a believer too. That believing in God is not all hearts and unicorns and butterflies and paradise. That easy answers don't usually come. That prophets saw the same things I see and wondered the same things I wonder.

In the words of Habakkuk: "How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but You do not listen? Or cry out to You, 'Violence!' but you do not save? Why do You make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?"

Good news, bad news

In lieu of actual paragraphs and narrative, I'm doing this the easy way.

Good news:

• My brother is VERY CLOSE to coming home from Afghanistan. Obviously not giving specific dates for obvious reasons, but I am thrilled to my heart's content that he'll soon be out of that hellhole.
• We had a 'We Love Daddy' party today, for no other reason than we wanted to show Hubs how appreciated he is around here. I made him tostadas (one of his favorite things) and we had dirt cake for dessert. Oh, and the balloons. We blew up a couple dozen and threw them all over the house so it would look like a real party.
• My boy has plans with his grandmother to visit some out-of-state relatives for Thanksgiving, so that means we get the house to ourselves for a couple days. I'll be working for a couple of them, but still!
• I'm doing a Bible study with some girls from church on the book of Esther. It's a Beth Moore study, and her studies are usually very good. This one's no exception, and I'm realizing that God doesn't really make mistakes about where God places me and when. I don't always agree with His placement nor his reasoning, but that's another story.
• In this crapola economy I still have a job.

Bad news:

• I am still a horrible insomniac. I'm a nightshifter trying to make it in a dayshift world and most days it just barely happens. I don't get sleepy most nights before about 1am, or if I do, I go to bed and toss and turn for several hours. It really sucks. I try not to complain, because the weekend night diff is nice. But there are days when I wonder I'm going to ####ing lose it. I would like to be able to sleep without the aid of medication at some point in my life.
• Immigration crap is still....immigration crap. No news one way or the other. Limbo sucks sometimes. (See the next-to-last bullet point under 'Good News.')

So....I guess it's good that the good outweighs the bad today. :)

Sleepless on Sunday

Coming off a work weekend sucks. First day off always does. Think if I didn't have a child that needed a mom, I'd stay nocturnal on my days off.


On a semi-related note, what is up with people having enormous babies? I took care of an 11-pounder - born via Cesarean. :) You may think to yourself, 'Well, duh!', but I have seen bigger babies that than born vaginally. It makes me cringe to think about it, but I did see a 12 lb 10oz baby born vaginally with minimal tearing for Mom. My massage therapist - heh, I've been to see her three times in two years, so don't think I'm uppity - was a certified professional midwife in Louisiana (currently illegal in this state) and watched a lady deliver a 13lb baby vaginally at home with no tears and no shoulder dystocia. Freaking awesome; I think more women would/could do that if they were not AROMed and continuously EFMed and pitted and NPOed and all that we do to them in the hospital. We (meaning the medical establishment) scare these women into thinking that they are emergencies waiting to happen, and things do happen. But we cause so much of what we worry about. In midwife-ese it's called the cascade of intervention. This has become especially interesting to me as we're trying for baby #2 and are seriously considering a homebirth. (Sorry for the stream of consciousness....my blog, my ramblings.) :)



A picture, just because. The date stamp is way off. Sorry.


He does not get this gene from his maternal DNA.

Blah Friday

I love having a lot of days in a row off work, but it makes it that much harder to peel my butt off my couch and go back. Like today. Ugh. I'm one of those folks that once I get there, I'm fine, it's just anticipating it all day, getting ready, and driving there that I don't care for at all.

Really shouldn't be bitching about a job where I only work 24 hours a week and can pay the bills that way. Really.

On Rush, and others

WARNING: POSSIBLY BORING POST

Earlier today I was part of a spirited debate about the brouhaha surrounding Rush Limbaugh's bid to be part owner of the St. Louis Rams. Y'all know by now that I'm not exactly the red-state conservative I used to be, and I'm trying to figure out what it is that bothers me so much about Rush. Pardon me while I do a little introspection.

First, talk-show hosts of any media bother me because they do what they do to garner ratings. Before they are anything else, they are businesspeople trying to make a profit and don't mind being outrageous in the quest. That to me is a big waste of time. If you have to be ridiculous (as Rush so often is) to make a buck, then your product must not be that good. This goes for anyone, regardless of politics.

Second, extremists of mosts sorts bother me. For me, people like Rush, Ann Coulter, and the environmentalists who spike trees all fall into that category. The only type of extremism that I really like is this. Most everybody else makes themselves look like fools and in the process hurt their cause du jour more than helping.

Third, what bothers me A LOT about Rush is that he purports to be a Christian. Obviously, only God knows what is in people's hearts and I'm not about to judge whether he is or isn't. But it bothers me tremendously when people who claim to be Christians are so very vocal about things like how gay people/immigrants/poor people/pick your group are destroying the fabric of society and spend little to no time talking about acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God. Rush has so many listeners and a lot more money than I'll ever see barring a Mega-Powerball win. Think what good he could do if he used his time, talent (nobody's debating the man's talent or intelligence), and money to show the love of Jesus to everyone he comes into contact with. People who use their fame to toot their own horn (does anyone doubt that Rush does exactly that?) apparently didn't get Christ's memo that 'whoever wants to be greatest among you must become a servant.'

There are plenty of people out there who make fun of other people groups - SNL and 'The Simpsons', to name a couple. They don't bother me the way Rush does, because neither purports to be Christian in any way.

Last, what bothers me most about him is that he personifies what I dislike most about myself, and that is hypocrisy. The areas of my life where I don't live up to my own standards. The times when I fail to love my fellow man (yes, even Rush) as much as I think we all should. The occasions where I fritter my time away on useless things instead of working on loving my neighbor as myself. The prejudices I discover in my own heart.

I still think Rush needs a good kick in the pants. I might need one too, though.

Birthday boy

Updates

Been playing around here...trying to change a few settings, refresh a few things. I've been stuck in a blog rut and want to try and change things up. The people that complained about the dark background and light lettering no longer read here - one has gone on to glory and the other keeps up with me on Facebook so I'm going dark again. The way I like it. My blog, my rules.

I also finally figured out how to add a pic to my title up top, which is a monumental achievement for this computer-challenged girl. I'm a geek, but not that kind of geek. I kind of like the date stamp on my pic too...it takes me right back to the fun time we had at the beach this year, a year that in so many ways has not been a great one.

This bookworm can't go too long without posting about books so sorry if you thought you were getting a reprieve! I just finished this, which I read in 3 days, could not put down, and highly recommend, and this. Took much longer and in some parts was a bit dry for my taste, but well worth the read anyway. I came out enlightened, and even more disappointed in my government than before.

I'm starting to read this. It's too early to say whether I like it or not, but after reading War is a Racket, I'm intrigued to say the least by Smedley Butler. He sounds like a guy who would have bucked the rules if they needed bucking, which would make him my kind of guy.

I'll try to be better about posting here. Honest.

Sorry that I suck...

I came back to my blog looking for some pictures of the day Daniel was born, and realized that it has been almost four months since I posted something here. That. is. really. slack.

Most everybody who reads this follows our mundane lives on facebook too, so there is probably not that much I'd put here that's news, but this just comes as a promise that I'll be a bit better in the future about blogging.

I am quite glad that my brother is almost due to come home from Asscrackistan (hat tip: Jenny and Wes for the slang). Having someone that close to me being deployed to a war zone is not something that can be explained to anyone who hasn't been there themselves. A friend of a friend is just not the same. It means that every night that my cell doesn't ring (I keep it by the bed) is a good night. Every day that 'the news' doesn't come is a good day. It means that I'm better off to not bitch and moan about my problems here on this side of the planet. It means that no matter where I am or what I'm doing I stop and say a prayer for Little Brother if he comes to mind. It means that I mostly don't watch news anymore (as it drives me insane) but if I do happen to catch a snippet, it means that my heart drops to my toes for that split-second it takes me to realize that I haven't heard anything from his NOK, so for the moment all is well...for me. It still means that my heart breaks for another sister somewhere who is getting that news. I thought it would get easier as the days/weeks went on - but it hasn't. More than anything, it means that I just want this damn war to be done with. Enough blood has been spilled - enough Afghan blood and enough ISAF blood - and I think God weeps about it all.

I admit with much regret that I supported our original invasion of Afghanistan. Now, I will also admit that I was wrong to support it. I bought the 'fight-'em-there-or-fight-'em-here' line a while back. I bought into the myth that a non-military problem can have a military solution. I bought the myth that the terrorists hate us because we are free. More than anything, I bought the myth that violence solves things. Violence solves nothing. As Dr. King said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Or maybe that other guy, who was it...the one that told us to love our enemies...

War Prayer

Sent to me by a good friend, written by Mark Twain. Controversial, perhaps, but true.

It's here.

Thank you Jesus....

Daniel has an odd habit of inserting words into prayers that don't really belong there. Never anything bad, just a boy being silly.

This morning over his breakfast (waffles), he prayed, "Thank you Jesus for this poop." I started to reprimand him, but then it occurred to me.

It's so easy to thank Jesus when the bills are paid, the house is clean, we're all healthy, and life is good. But do I thank Him during and even for the crappy parts of life too? The things that I would really rather not be occurring? That's what the Bible says, right? "In everything, give thanks."

So, right now....thank you, Jesus, for this poop.

Goodbye

....and Godspeed, troop.

I got a piece of news today that makes me proud, and sad, and scared. My little brother tested and qualified for Recon. That's the proud part. Sad and scared.....a little closer to time, will share.

Haiti waits

As a Livesays lurker, I found this article that, again, is worth reading.

If you read nothing else today, read this. And be thankful.

Ugggh. Upset/sad/annoyed/frustrated...and don't want to talk about it much.

No interesting news on our end to report today, but a very cool post over at the Livesays in Haiti blog.

Most convicting was this: "The fact that we do segregate around issues of appearance keeps the very people Jesus sought out of our churches."

And this post over at Paradox Uganda. I love hearing about how birth happens in other countries. I did the math, and the triplets weighed between about 3lb 4oz and 3lb 9oz. Not bad for a) triplets; b) 34-weeker triplets; and c) 34-weeker triplets in Uganda. Not to cast a pall, but I'm afraid their chances of survival are far lower than here in the privileged US. Here we kind of take the survival of 34-weeker multiples for granted.

In case I don't make it back here to post on Sunday, Happy Easter. And, a little something about the greatest gift I've been given, from one of my personal heroes.

Cheering a Tar Heel victory

wrong sport, but the song is the same:


There'll be a Carolina victory
When 'cross the field the foe has fled
Cheer our team to victory
For we are Tar Heels born and bred
(Rah! Rah! Rah!)

Glory, glory, UNC
Our hearts will live with thee
Fight! Fight! Fight!
For the Blue and White
Are rolling to victory!

Something funny from my brother

I found it on his MySpace page, and it just made me chuckle. Under the 'Interests' section, this is what I found.

General: General who? Man, f*** him!

(Dedicated to every grunt that's ever gotten pissed off at a REMF.)

Funny saying

Mexicans have the funniest sayings, I think. This is an actual conversation that took place in our house this afternoon.

Jesus: "Mmmmm, something smells good."
Me: "Cooking some sausage for the bean soup."
J: "I bet Daniel will really eat it up tonight." [a joke, because Daniel is a picky eater.]
Me: "Well, I want him to keep trying, because I think he'll eventually like it, if he tastes it enough."
J: "And I bet you believe in saints that can pee."

(Obviously a reference to some of his relatives who believe their saints eat the food set out before their shrines on holidays, etc.)

Some other gems:
When everything seems to be going wrong, "All that's left is for a dog to pee on us."

If I have to ask him to repeat himself several times (like if he mumbles, or there is a lot of background noise), after about two times, he goes, "I said, THE DEAF PEOPLE'S MASS IS ON FRIDAY!"

They sound so much better in Spanish!!

NCAA bracket picks - Round 1

Louisiana
Ohio St
Utah
Cleveland St
WVa
Kansas
So Cal
Mich St

UConn
Texas A/M
Purdue
Washington
Utah St.
Maryland
Memphis

Pittsburgh
Tennessee
Wisconsin
Xavier
VCU
Villanova
Texas
Duke

UNC
LSU
Illinois
Gonzaga
Temple
Syracuse
Michigan
Oklahoma

I tried to pick at least one ACC team to make it through the 1st round in each bracket. I've got UNC going all the way, which I do most years just on principle. I've got Duke going to the Sweet 16. My general tendency is to pick the higher seeds to go further, but NCAAs always have several upsets (any given Sunday....) so I tried to allow for that.

I LOVE MARCH MADNESS!!

TTIL #3 - Flexing

Flexing is what happens at work when we have too many nurses and have to send people home. Last night was my lucky night, made even better by the fact that I am off until March 27th!

Birthday shout-out

To Miles. :)

New piece of trivia

I am getting interested these days in my family's history, especially the military history of it. If you don't already know, I am the proud sister, daughter, niece, stepdaughter, granddaughter, and (now I find out) great-great-granddaughter of military servicemen.

Talking with my dad today, I found out that my great-great-grandfather fought in the Civil War. The funny thing is that my dad's family came from England and settled right around here (there are lots of people in this area w/ my maiden name. Anyway, part of the family migrated down to Alabama, where my grandfather was born. However, my great-great-grandfather, George Washington S., volunteered in Tennessee - for the Union.

When he was buried in Alabama, whoever made the headstone assumed that he's fought for the CSA, and engraved it accordingly. One of his grandkids (my grandpa's brother) rubbed the word 'Confederate' off, so his grave to this day reads "[blank] States of America." And, I also find it funny that we have a George W. in our family too.

I have no idea what to title this

The other night at church we had a chili cook-off (adults made chili) and dessert contest (kids made dessert). At our table sat a guy that I've seen come to church several times with a cami jacket & several pins/ribbons. Really nice guy, soft spoken, probably about my dad's age.

I happened to notice Vietnam bars on a ring that he was wearing so I asked him about it.
"____, are you a Vietnam veteran?"
"Yeah....how'd you know?"
"I saw your ring, noticed the bars."
"Your eyes are good. Most people don't."
"Well, I just want to say thanks, because vets don't get nearly enough thanks."
"You're one of the few people to say it."

WHAT?! I am one of the few people to say thanks to a war vet? That is just wrong, wrong, wrong. I am pretty much a total pacifist but I sure as hell do support the troops that are doing their job under horrid conditions, crapola pay, leadership that may or may not know what the heck they are doing, and without the stuff they need. It makes me so blooming angry that these people come home from war zones and don't get thanked, or even recognized.

This man and I had a wonderful conversation. He was in Viet Nam from '67 til '68, during the Tet offensive, in the Nha Trang/Cam Ranh Bay area. In the 40 years since he has been home, he told me that he can only remember three or four people thanking him for his service. Did you hear me? Three or four people.

He still cannot hear sudden, loud noises without jumping out of his skin.

He is involved with the local chapters of VFW, Vietnam Veterans of America, and Disabled Veterans of America.

And I think I found a kindred pacifist spirit. This man was drafted. He did not want to go to war to begin with, but went. He could have filed for CO status, but did not. He went, and he did his job as a regular old grunt. And now, he so opposes war. He believes it's impossible to actually fight in combat and come back supporting war. He believes that nothing is worth having to kill another human being, and nothing is worth holding your buddy's brains in your lap as he dies.

He told me that his 19-year-old son signed up for the Army. One day before leaving for boot, he saw his son looking kind of dejected and asked him, "Do you really want to join the Army?" Son's reply: "No, but I want to make you proud of me." My friend's reply: "You do not have to join the Army for me to be proud of you. As a matter of fact, I really wish you wouldn't join." So he didn't. I told him about my brother about the same age, who wants to be deployed, who wants to fight. He said, "You can tell your brother I said he has no idea what he's talking about."

The idiots who make the decisions to go to war are not the ones watching their friends get blown to smithereens. It is not usually their children either. It is people like my friend. I am so disgusted that people do not thank our troops for what they do. Not nearly enough. If I made the rules, our vets would make at least ten times what they make, and would not get dropped when they get too old, or too injured, or too insane.

Well, actually, if I made the rules, we would not be sending our youngest, best, strongest, and brightest off to war at all.

"Let him who thinks War is a glorious, golden thing, who loves to roll forth stirring words of exhortation, invoking Honour and Praise and Valour and Love of Country with as thoughtless and fervid a faith as inspired the priests of Baal to call on their own slumbering deity, let him but look at a little pile of sodden grey rags that cover half a skull and a shin-bone and what might have been its ribs, or at this skeleton lying on its side, resting half crouching as it fell, perfect but that it is headless, and with the tattered clothing still draped round it; and let him realise how grand and glorious a thing it is to have distilled all Youth and Joy and Life into a fetid heap of putrescence!....Who is there that has known and seen, who can say that Victory is worth the death of even one of these?" - Roland Leighton, a British officer, 1915

Please, please, please, thank every soldier or veteran you see. According to my friend, regardless of how you feel about war, that is the best way to support your troops.

Report on Dept. of Homeland Security

I came across this link in an email sent to me. It is very long but well worth the read. Our system of Homeland Security REALLY needs to be overhauled and a bunch of crap needs to be done away with.

http://www.migrationpolicy.org/pubs/DHS_Feb09.pdf

TTIL #2 - Mexican cheese

Queso fresco - the all-purpose Mexican crumbling cheese. Similar consistency as feta, but less strongly flavored and not made from goats. We put queso fresco on darn near everything in our house - tacos, tostadas, any pasta dish, vegetables, salads, oh, and we eat it plain in chunks too.

Jesus made his own queso fresco in Mexico and the stuff you buy here is (he says) pretty similar, but not quite. Nothing like unpasteurized cheese straight from the cow, I guess. :)

Our favorite brand is pictured above, with a hat-tip to www.mexican-cheese.com

Things that I love

Hat tip to Miles for the idea. I think it has been interesting to find out the sorts of things other people enjoy, so I'm borrowing the idea for OOLHP. (I dunno, "ool-hip?") So, here is installation #1 of TTIL.

Cheerwine.

What is the allure of Cheerwine? Well, first off, it's a non-coffee forom of caffeine for me. I don't like coffee, much as I have tried. So I have to caffeinate in other ways...Cheerwine is one of them.

It also reminds me of my childhood - when we raced bikes up and down Mitchell, Crosby, Wiley, and Stanley Streets, stayed out late in the summer, and got into trouble for the silly things we did. I used to think it was so funny the way Cheerwine turned my lips, teeth, and tongue blood red. Now it's kind of creepy, but I still loves me Cheerwine.

One other thing - it always kind of gave me a sense of regional pride when I'd go visit Yankee relatives, and order Cheerwine at a restaurant. "Sorry, we don't serve alcoholic beverages here." Heh.

This ugly antique piece

Label on the back

Drawers inside chest

Inside chest

Drawer lock

Lock on chest door

Drawer pulls

Pattern on the front of the chest door

I guess I should explain this a bit. This is an old oak piece that has been in my mother's family for several generations now. I have no idea what it is called, and frankly, I think it is pretty ugly. It doesn't 'go' with anything in my house, and it's not exactly, um symmetrical. That bothers my OCD. There is a mirror that goes in the back but it's not currently on there - something about looking at myself all the time kind of weirds me out.

I have wondered what it would be worth on Antiques Roadshow, so I have emailed them w/ pics and info since they'll be in Raleigh soon. It was made in the 1800s (I think) and still has part of the original manufacturer's label on the back, but as my luck would run, not enough of the manufacturer's name to actually figure anything out. If there is anyone out there who knows what this behemoth is called, I would appreciate any help. In my family we just call it 'that big ugly oak piece.'

My favorite cowboy

Juxtaposition

Tonight, as we are discussing where to go for supper:
"Mommy, we HAVE to go eat Chinese food, because we're Mexicans!"

Overheard yesterday....

...as Daniel is gettin ready for bed.
"Daddy, you're my favorite toy."

Snow Day!

Wooohoooo!

For a number of reasons:
1) The b-u-r-l-y-f-a-m-i-l-y welcomed baby #4, Anna Ruth, into the world yesterday afternoon. Gnome grows big babies, as Anna weighed 8lb 11oz! Mom and baby are both well.

2) I am excited about the snow falling on the ground. Our area is expected to get around 4-6 inches of snow, which for us is practically unheard of. It's 0800 and we've got about an inch already. Can't wait for Dan-man to get up and see it.

3) I am STOKED that we are inaugurating Barack Obama. I do not agree with all his politics, but I agree with enough of them to have voted for him, and I do believe that he will do his job with grace. I think it is important to realize that the issues we face are so great, and no one person will be able to fix them, nor will they disappear overnight. Barack is not our messiah and we'll do well to remember that. However - I am very hopeful that he will reverse some of the extreme right-wing policies and 'Bush doctrine' that has landed this country in some hot water around the world.

And, I think it is really really cool that Barack has invited the Tuskegee Airmen to be at his inauguration.

Israel/Gaza

One of the best opinions I have seen in a long time regarding the current horror in the Middle East.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/01/06/iftikhar.gaza/index.html

I am interested in hearing others' opinions here.

Funk

No, I am not referring to the odd smell that follows me home from work. :)

I have been feeling quite blah lately. Vacillating between wanting to sleep all the time and being unable to sleep. Eating just to eat. Wanting to do nothing - ever. Finding it a chore to just get up and get dressed in the morning. And on top of all that, my heart beats irregularly. I'm not sure if they're PACs or PVCs, but it doesn't feel good.

I have upped my dose of Zoloft from 50 to 75mg, and it may get upped again before it's all said and done. I also think my body is trying to tell me it cannot do nights forever. Between depression and nightshift, it has really thrown me for a loop here.

I've got an appointment Wednesday to see the doctor about this. I am hoping that he will write me a note to transfer to day/evening shift ASAP. I am also trying to exercise more, eat less junk, and drink less caffeine (that I will have to taper since I do not want caffeine headaches). I'm considering going lacto-ovovegetarian as well to see if it makes a difference.

Bleh. I hate feeling this way.