The Warrior Song

I find this really disturbing. I think it portrays our troops the wrong way - a bunch of bloodthirsty hooligans, which the whopping majority are not. I would also be willing to bet that it was not written by someone who has actually seen combat. I dearly, sincerely hope it was not written by someone who professes to follow Jesus.

But I say to you that hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?

IUFDs suck. They just suck.

On the hate crimes bill

Senate just passed a piece of legislation outlawing hate crimes against gays. President Obama has said he'd sign it into law when it reaches him. And I say, it's about freaking time. This is not about whether you think homosexuality is right or wrong; this is about us (as a society) recognizing human beings' right to be what they are, as long as they are in a consenting relationship, without being threatened, attacked, or intimidated.

Something that bothers me greatly is how certain members of the Religious Right have taken this law and turned it into something it does not, and will not mean. It doesn't mean that preachers can't preach that homosexuality is wrong. It doesn't mean that you can't peacefully protest [insert your cause here].* What it means is that you cannot attack lesbians because they are lesbians. You can't spray paint "God hates f---s" (I can't write that word out) on their house. As a Christian, do you really think those things are okay?

(* as a side note - so what if it does mean you can't preach that? Since when does the Church follow the laws of the State anyway?)
From a Christian News Wire article: "...a letter is being hand-delivered to every member of the United States Senate imploring conservatives to join Senator Jim DeMint's filibuster of the pending Hate Crimes bill, which would criminalize preaching the Gospel and put preachers in the crosshairs.The letter explains that, in its current form, the Hate Crimes legislation would: "Silence the moral voice of the Church"...

I bolded the parts that bother me most. First, I'm angry that people equate preaching against homosexuality with preaching the Gospel. Preach against that if you want, but that's not the Gospel. The Gospel is that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. THAT is the gospel, and far be it for me to preach any other.

Second, the Church is just now getting angry about its moral voice being silenced? Sorry, the Church silenced its own moral voice about 1700 years ago when it became enmeshed with the empire (that is, when we began to operate like the Caesars and/or within the confines they placed). Where was the Church in this country during the Salem witch trials? Where was the Church when slaves were considered 1/3 of a person? Where was the Church when we slaughtered Native Americans and marched their survivors onto reservations? Where was the Church when Japanese Americans were interned for being Japanese? Where was the Church when the KKK was burning crosses and lynching people? Where is the Church now while we bomb Iraqis and Afghans off the map? Why have we been so afraid to act like the Church?

I'm all for the government leaving me alone and letting me live. But, I'm also sad that in the 21st century it has to be legislated that you can't beat people up because they are black, Jewish, gay, or whatever.

Some internal struggles

Lately I have been struggling with the eternal question of where God is when people's lives seem to be falling apart. Where is He when bad things happen to people who it seems just don't deserve it? Because I will be honest, there are times when it would appear He has kind of fallen asleep at the wheel. And if I'm going to be really honest, it hasn't been a struggle of 'lately.' It's been a struggle of 'a long time.' I have to wonder why two coworkers have had children die in the last year, people I love dearly struggle with alcoholism, babies must suffer so as they withdraw from drugs, and wars are allowed to continue causing the mayhem, waste, and wrecked lives they cause.

I'm sure you can think of your own; this is by no means an exhaustive list. Any or all of the above would (to me) be perfect justification for God to swoop down with His God-wand and fix things. I've spent some time being angry at God and even wondering if He really is all He's cracked up to be, even sometimes wondering if it's worth being a believer if (pardon the language, some of you) shit's gonna happen anyway.

Funny how God works. Last night at church the subject was a completely unrelated one, but the preacher had us turn to a chapter of Isaiah (he had us looking at different verses but I found these instead) that outlines pretty much what I've been struggling with:
"The way of peace of they do know know; there is no justice in their paths. They have turned them into crooked roads; no one who walks in them will know peace.

So justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead.

We all growl like bears; we moan mournfully like doves. We look for justice, but find none; for delieverance, but it is far away." Isaiah 59:8-11

It answers none of my questions but there is some comfort for me to know that God includes things like this in His word. That that's all part and parcel of being a believer too. That believing in God is not all hearts and unicorns and butterflies and paradise. That easy answers don't usually come. That prophets saw the same things I see and wondered the same things I wonder.

In the words of Habakkuk: "How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but You do not listen? Or cry out to You, 'Violence!' but you do not save? Why do You make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?"

Good news, bad news

In lieu of actual paragraphs and narrative, I'm doing this the easy way.

Good news:

• My brother is VERY CLOSE to coming home from Afghanistan. Obviously not giving specific dates for obvious reasons, but I am thrilled to my heart's content that he'll soon be out of that hellhole.
• We had a 'We Love Daddy' party today, for no other reason than we wanted to show Hubs how appreciated he is around here. I made him tostadas (one of his favorite things) and we had dirt cake for dessert. Oh, and the balloons. We blew up a couple dozen and threw them all over the house so it would look like a real party.
• My boy has plans with his grandmother to visit some out-of-state relatives for Thanksgiving, so that means we get the house to ourselves for a couple days. I'll be working for a couple of them, but still!
• I'm doing a Bible study with some girls from church on the book of Esther. It's a Beth Moore study, and her studies are usually very good. This one's no exception, and I'm realizing that God doesn't really make mistakes about where God places me and when. I don't always agree with His placement nor his reasoning, but that's another story.
• In this crapola economy I still have a job.

Bad news:

• I am still a horrible insomniac. I'm a nightshifter trying to make it in a dayshift world and most days it just barely happens. I don't get sleepy most nights before about 1am, or if I do, I go to bed and toss and turn for several hours. It really sucks. I try not to complain, because the weekend night diff is nice. But there are days when I wonder I'm going to ####ing lose it. I would like to be able to sleep without the aid of medication at some point in my life.
• Immigration crap is still....immigration crap. No news one way or the other. Limbo sucks sometimes. (See the next-to-last bullet point under 'Good News.')

So....I guess it's good that the good outweighs the bad today. :)

Sleepless on Sunday

Coming off a work weekend sucks. First day off always does. Think if I didn't have a child that needed a mom, I'd stay nocturnal on my days off.


On a semi-related note, what is up with people having enormous babies? I took care of an 11-pounder - born via Cesarean. :) You may think to yourself, 'Well, duh!', but I have seen bigger babies that than born vaginally. It makes me cringe to think about it, but I did see a 12 lb 10oz baby born vaginally with minimal tearing for Mom. My massage therapist - heh, I've been to see her three times in two years, so don't think I'm uppity - was a certified professional midwife in Louisiana (currently illegal in this state) and watched a lady deliver a 13lb baby vaginally at home with no tears and no shoulder dystocia. Freaking awesome; I think more women would/could do that if they were not AROMed and continuously EFMed and pitted and NPOed and all that we do to them in the hospital. We (meaning the medical establishment) scare these women into thinking that they are emergencies waiting to happen, and things do happen. But we cause so much of what we worry about. In midwife-ese it's called the cascade of intervention. This has become especially interesting to me as we're trying for baby #2 and are seriously considering a homebirth. (Sorry for the stream of consciousness....my blog, my ramblings.) :)



A picture, just because. The date stamp is way off. Sorry.


He does not get this gene from his maternal DNA.

Blah Friday

I love having a lot of days in a row off work, but it makes it that much harder to peel my butt off my couch and go back. Like today. Ugh. I'm one of those folks that once I get there, I'm fine, it's just anticipating it all day, getting ready, and driving there that I don't care for at all.

Really shouldn't be bitching about a job where I only work 24 hours a week and can pay the bills that way. Really.

On Rush, and others

WARNING: POSSIBLY BORING POST

Earlier today I was part of a spirited debate about the brouhaha surrounding Rush Limbaugh's bid to be part owner of the St. Louis Rams. Y'all know by now that I'm not exactly the red-state conservative I used to be, and I'm trying to figure out what it is that bothers me so much about Rush. Pardon me while I do a little introspection.

First, talk-show hosts of any media bother me because they do what they do to garner ratings. Before they are anything else, they are businesspeople trying to make a profit and don't mind being outrageous in the quest. That to me is a big waste of time. If you have to be ridiculous (as Rush so often is) to make a buck, then your product must not be that good. This goes for anyone, regardless of politics.

Second, extremists of mosts sorts bother me. For me, people like Rush, Ann Coulter, and the environmentalists who spike trees all fall into that category. The only type of extremism that I really like is this. Most everybody else makes themselves look like fools and in the process hurt their cause du jour more than helping.

Third, what bothers me A LOT about Rush is that he purports to be a Christian. Obviously, only God knows what is in people's hearts and I'm not about to judge whether he is or isn't. But it bothers me tremendously when people who claim to be Christians are so very vocal about things like how gay people/immigrants/poor people/pick your group are destroying the fabric of society and spend little to no time talking about acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God. Rush has so many listeners and a lot more money than I'll ever see barring a Mega-Powerball win. Think what good he could do if he used his time, talent (nobody's debating the man's talent or intelligence), and money to show the love of Jesus to everyone he comes into contact with. People who use their fame to toot their own horn (does anyone doubt that Rush does exactly that?) apparently didn't get Christ's memo that 'whoever wants to be greatest among you must become a servant.'

There are plenty of people out there who make fun of other people groups - SNL and 'The Simpsons', to name a couple. They don't bother me the way Rush does, because neither purports to be Christian in any way.

Last, what bothers me most about him is that he personifies what I dislike most about myself, and that is hypocrisy. The areas of my life where I don't live up to my own standards. The times when I fail to love my fellow man (yes, even Rush) as much as I think we all should. The occasions where I fritter my time away on useless things instead of working on loving my neighbor as myself. The prejudices I discover in my own heart.

I still think Rush needs a good kick in the pants. I might need one too, though.

Birthday boy

Updates

Been playing around here...trying to change a few settings, refresh a few things. I've been stuck in a blog rut and want to try and change things up. The people that complained about the dark background and light lettering no longer read here - one has gone on to glory and the other keeps up with me on Facebook so I'm going dark again. The way I like it. My blog, my rules.

I also finally figured out how to add a pic to my title up top, which is a monumental achievement for this computer-challenged girl. I'm a geek, but not that kind of geek. I kind of like the date stamp on my pic too...it takes me right back to the fun time we had at the beach this year, a year that in so many ways has not been a great one.

This bookworm can't go too long without posting about books so sorry if you thought you were getting a reprieve! I just finished this, which I read in 3 days, could not put down, and highly recommend, and this. Took much longer and in some parts was a bit dry for my taste, but well worth the read anyway. I came out enlightened, and even more disappointed in my government than before.

I'm starting to read this. It's too early to say whether I like it or not, but after reading War is a Racket, I'm intrigued to say the least by Smedley Butler. He sounds like a guy who would have bucked the rules if they needed bucking, which would make him my kind of guy.

I'll try to be better about posting here. Honest.

Sorry that I suck...

I came back to my blog looking for some pictures of the day Daniel was born, and realized that it has been almost four months since I posted something here. That. is. really. slack.

Most everybody who reads this follows our mundane lives on facebook too, so there is probably not that much I'd put here that's news, but this just comes as a promise that I'll be a bit better in the future about blogging.

I am quite glad that my brother is almost due to come home from Asscrackistan (hat tip: Jenny and Wes for the slang). Having someone that close to me being deployed to a war zone is not something that can be explained to anyone who hasn't been there themselves. A friend of a friend is just not the same. It means that every night that my cell doesn't ring (I keep it by the bed) is a good night. Every day that 'the news' doesn't come is a good day. It means that I'm better off to not bitch and moan about my problems here on this side of the planet. It means that no matter where I am or what I'm doing I stop and say a prayer for Little Brother if he comes to mind. It means that I mostly don't watch news anymore (as it drives me insane) but if I do happen to catch a snippet, it means that my heart drops to my toes for that split-second it takes me to realize that I haven't heard anything from his NOK, so for the moment all is well...for me. It still means that my heart breaks for another sister somewhere who is getting that news. I thought it would get easier as the days/weeks went on - but it hasn't. More than anything, it means that I just want this damn war to be done with. Enough blood has been spilled - enough Afghan blood and enough ISAF blood - and I think God weeps about it all.

I admit with much regret that I supported our original invasion of Afghanistan. Now, I will also admit that I was wrong to support it. I bought the 'fight-'em-there-or-fight-'em-here' line a while back. I bought into the myth that a non-military problem can have a military solution. I bought the myth that the terrorists hate us because we are free. More than anything, I bought the myth that violence solves things. Violence solves nothing. As Dr. King said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Or maybe that other guy, who was it...the one that told us to love our enemies...