Very very very sad, heartbreaking night at work last night. I won't go into too much detail -- I don't have the emotional energy for it. But let's just say that when I see a father cry over the body of his very tiny premature dead son, well, it sends me right over the edge. And I realize that I just don't have problems that big.

Well, I'm tired and so weary, but I must go along
'Til the Lord comes and calls me away
Where the morning's so bright and the Lamb is the light
And the night is fair as the day
There will be peace in the valley for me someday
There will be peace in the valley for me,
Oh Lord I pray
There'll be no sadness, no sorrow, no trouble I'll see
There will be peace in the valley for me.

Daniel's bday

First, I can't believe he's going to be THREE years old!!! That is just hard to believe. Feels like he was born yesterday. He is a Thomas junkie the way I am an Elvis or LOTR junkie, so he's going to be getting this and this from us.

Along with a Thomas cake, and probably a trip to see Thomas here.

We still love God more than anything....but Thomas ranks pretty close up there.

Daniel helps me make pancakes....one of his big jobs, besides getting the butter out of the fridge is to sing to me while I mix the batter. Tonight's selection:
"Come, now is time to waaaah-sheff.
Come, now is time to give yo' haht
Come, just as you are to waaah-sheff
Come, just as you are before yooour God...."

"I tell you the truth, unless you become change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven." Matt. 18:3

Father, please forgive me for my arrogance, for thinking that I can do things my way, without your help. Please forgive me for not believing that You can move mountains. And thank you for giving me that sweet preschooler who is not afraid to sing his little lungs out in praise of You.

Thanks Covey!

Now we are going to try to post a link. So you can click here if you want to find out who my favorite singer is.

Thank you so much Covey...it works! I am going to be a hyperlinking fool from here on out...

Blogworld help

This is going to sound like a really dumb question. But we have had a blog for over 2 years now and don't know how to post a link to something without pasting the entire link within the text. Like instead of posting www.lordoftherings.net, how do we just put click here to visit one of BethAnn's favorite sites?

Thanks in advance for any help. I don't mean to sound like a techno idiot. But maybe I am. And that's ok. Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it...:)

I'm a Turtle

Lots of news

New church: Sunday we visited a new church, an English-speaking one (we have been attending Spanish-speaking churches since we were dating). Jesus likes it because he can understand most of what is going on, which hasn't happened with other Anglo churches we have visited. I like it because the worship songs are from my youth/UNC IV years and I know most of them. I also like it because there is some racial diversity -- white and black and Hispanic. I would like to see more but the folks there are definitely color-blind and the church's focus is to make fishers of men, regardleess of race, religion, social status, color, etc. That's nice.

Dang old age! I have plantar fasciitis. Ouch. On top of that, I threw my back out again. And my gray roots are growing out. Meanwhile, my 34-yo husband has like 6 gray hairs, and looks fabulous.

I have created a monster. Last night I was diddling around on YouTube, as I wanted Jesus to see Johnny Cash sing "Walk the Line." Not Daniel. His exact words: "Not that one, Mama! Turn it off! Need to put on Elvis!"

Bedtime has turned into a bittersweet ritual. I know it is a good thing that Daniel wants to fall asleep "all by mysulf" but we miss snuggling with him. Last night we read a story -- Sleepy Jesus -- and then we prayed. I turned on his 'sticker nightlight' -- because it is a smiley face like the Wal-Mart stickers -- and turned on his 'birdies' -- a CD with rainforest sounds. A hug and a kiss, and:

"Sleep good, sweetheart."

"Jesus is in here with me and makes the stinky guys run away."

"Yes honey, there are no stinky guys in here, because Jesus is in here with you. Know who loves you?"

"Jesus."

"And Mommy, and Papa."

"And God?"

He is growing up, and he gets it.

Cachibombo

The above is Daniel's current favorite TV show character, whom he calls "Cachibombo" after the show's theme song. It's a shame you can't see the character's (name is Juan) whole body; that would explain the boots. But the belt and boots are non-negotiable. They have to be on Daniel's person at or before 7pm each night, which is when the show comes on Univision.

Lessons learned at the Mexican Consulate

...which is where we spent our morning yesterday getting hubs his passport.

1) You are on Mexican soil; you are therefore on Mexican time. Do not expect to 'get in and get out' as we Yanks are so fond of doing.

2) You are allowed to have food and drink inside the building.

3) You are also allowed to have screaming babies, and you are allowed to whip out your boob and breastfeed said babies without so much as a second glance from others. (that, IMO, is how it should be.)

4) You are allowed to hang out on the front steps of the building to allow your children to play while you are waiting the eternity for your family member to get his/her stuff done. I'm sure that must be an interesting sight to passersby. It also saved my sanity.

5) Everybody there will expect you to speak Spanish -- in America, no less!

6) Who knew that an official government building could be located in front of a Kroger and beside a Burger King? I bet said stores make a killing, too.

7) There is a lot of stupid paperwork in Mexican government, too. It is, however, far more streamlined than I thought it would be.

8) Mexicans don't have the personal space issues that we Yanks (and you Finns, Kirsi :) ) have. I got so many strange looks for saying 'excuse me' after bumping into people. Seems that nobody minds being crammed into tight spaces, getting jostled is just par for the course, and no offense is taken.

9) The staff working there was very courteous and helpful. I'm not sure what I expected, but they seemed to go out of their way to be helpful, not just to us, but to everyone.

10) We are definitely going to get dual passports for Daniel. Viva México!

Showdown at Wal-Mart

A few months ago, my brother saw a disabled man being assaulted in the parking lot of a local Mickey D's. My brother got out, pulled the assailant off his intended victim and decked him. Once the cops got there (who immediately let John go) they find this assailant has an outstanding arrest warrant for attempted murder. (Go John!) Anyway, my story is not quite as dramatic.

I am standing in the checkout line at Walmart, minding my own business. The lady in front of me is arguing about the price of her produce. Ok, fine. I'm not trying to get into it, even though her behavior was rather rude and obnoxious, especially to the cashier, who was doing her best to be nice. After several arguments over several different pieces of produce, the lady, who was already being extremely rude (my preschooler is more polite) to the cashier -- nary a 'please' nor 'thank you' proceeded from her lips, not even once -- this lady turned to me and another lady behind me and says very snottily, "Watch your produce, girls." Ok, lady. Now you done did it. I was going to stay out of it, but since you got me involved...I bit my tongue for a few seconds while thinking about whether to respond. And decided to respond. I said, "Lady, you should be grateful that you even have enough money to pay for what's in your cart." And she says, "Well, she's ringing it up XYZ and it's really ABC per pound." I said, "It's 60 cents' difference. Get over it."



She finally asked to speak to the manager, while Jesus and I were ringing up our stuff (which, btw, was rung up correctly). I went on about my business and was venting to Jesus on the way out. We're loading our stuff into our trunk, and Guess Who comes stomping over to where we are and says to me, "I want to know just who you think you are to say something like that to me." I said, "You have more money than most people in the rest of the world and there is no need to be rude to anyone the way you were rude to that cashier."


"Oh, and do you know that for a fact? My husband and I live on a very fixed income."


"Well, if you have a house, and you have a car that you can get in and drive to Wal-mart, you have more than most of the rest of the world. And there was no need to say what you said to me in the checkout line."


"I thought I was doing you a favor."

"You were snide and you did not need to be."

[stomps off mumbling under breath]

Maybe I could have been a little nicer to this lady, but I was so furious by the way she was treating the cashier that it was hard to keep an even tone of voice. Maybe I should've just said "You can complain, but there's no need to involve me, and there's no need to be rude." Or maybe, "I hope you don't go to church, because you're giving the rest of us a bad name." (probably not that one.) But I couldn't just stand by while she treated this poor woman like dirt. Or maybe she thought I was being disrespectful to my elders. Oh well. Maybe, living inside me, there's an Erin Brockovich, and I have to let her show every once in a while.

Sick

As expected, Daniel has come down with some virus or something since starting back to school. Kids can't share toys, but they can for sure share germs...anyway, this is what I found when I went to check on Daniel & Jesus (who is his preferred buddy) about an hour ago:



Jesus has since laid Daniel down in his bed. He is such a great daddy.

Awesome, awesome song

I found this on YouTube (my new hobby) when I did a search for Elvis & gospel. He does not actually sing, but it's worth it to just watch & listen. It is a beautiful song anyway, the quartet harmony is amazing, and it is a moving moment for Elvis, obviously. I watched it twice with tears in my eyes both times.

Intact

Warning: this post may be a little inflammatory. I have thought long and hard about posting this and have come to the conclusion that because it's part of who I am (and this is my blog, and the 1st amendment and all that), then yes, I am going to post about it. If you have strong feelings about circumcision, or don't want to listen to a rant involving um, boy parts, you might want to skip over it.

Why the title? Because, ladies and gentlemen, I have become an 'intactivist' in my old age and wisdom (ok, the wisdom part is debatable). What is an intactivist? Thanks for asking. An intactivist is someone who does not believe in circumcising baby boys. There are more of us out there than I thought, but I truly wish the numbers were higher.

What do I have against circumcision?
1) It's not mandated by God for Christians. For Israel, yes. In the OT. Paul writes that what counts is a new creation. Circumcision is not necessary for salvation. And even among Jews today there is a small but significant movement away from circumcision. The ceremony is still held as a way to welcome baby into the community, but without the trauma.

2) It really doesn't serve a purpose. Yes, I have heard the studies about it preventing HIV transmission. Those studies were done on adult men. If adult men want to line up to have their weenies whacked, fine. (I didn't think so!) But to put a baby boy through something like that, well, I can't see what the logic is. If it gives us pause to imagine a grown man going through something like that, why shouldn't it bother us to think about babies? Also, while we're on the HIV topic....are you telling me we should be preaching circumcision instead of abstinence and monogamy? I hope not (I realize most people reading this blog wouldn't be. I'm just making a point). I still believe that circumcising baby boys is not necessary if you want to prevent HIV transmission.

3) Over and over I have seen it in my work as a mother-baby nurse: people who would not think of having their little girls cut in ANY fashion (not even under local anesthesia and in a sterile room), the same folks will send their little boys off without a second thought to have essentially the same thing done. If one is child abuse, why is the other okay?


4) Again, over and over I have seen this: Babies who are nursing like the little champs they are do great til they get circumcised. Then it all falls to pieces. Numerous studies have suggested that babies' pain response often resembles going to sleep. In actuality, they are shutting down because they cannot tolerate the pain. I have had so many moms get frustrated with nursing after their babies are circed because they will not wake up to eat.


5) The hygiene argument is a really non-applicable one, especially in the era of soap and water. Either way you have to wash down there, right? It is not that difficult to retract a foreskin, wash & rinse under it, and put it back. If it is, maybe you ought to invest in a protein shake or something. And you really don't even have to do that til the darn thing goes back on its own, which may not be for several years. Believe me, a 2 year-old can do it. My 2-year-old does.


6) I really wish people would not use the "we wanted him to look like Daddy" argument. Number one, he's not going to look like Daddy for a very long time anyway, and by the time he does, he and Daddy are probably not going to be comparing. Second, how many adult men (don't raise your hands) know/care whether or not your dad was circumcised? Third, he may notice that he and Daddy look different but that doesn't mean it will bother him. Whose hang-up is it, really? Is it the boy that will feel funny not looking like his dad, or is it the other way around? With friends that I know whose husbands are circed but their boys aren't, a simple "Daddy had a surgery you didn't need" does the trick if they ask. Also worth asking: what if Daddy has had a leg or arm amputated? Are you going to chop off your son's limb so he'll look like Daddy? Why not? (Ok, that was rhetorical. I'm NOT advocating the aforementioned idea.)


7) The locker room argument. You don't want your son to be made fun of for being 'different.' 1) With the current circ rate running at about 60% in the USA, that leaves 40% uncirced. He'll probably have some company. 2) What are they doing looking, anyway? 3) What message am I sending my son having his body unnecessarily, irreversibly altered as a baby so he'll fit in?


8) I have heard people say that men who aren't circumcised don't look 'normal.' Um....ok. 75% of the world doesn't circumcise. Most Latin Americans don't. Most Asians, Europeans, and Aussies don't. Canada's universal health care doesn't cover it anymore, as far as I know. Many places in Africa don't. That leaves....hmmm....the USA. I had a nurse colleague tell me once, "It's all what you're used to." It's all about what I'm used to? I'm going to put my son through something unnecessary so he can look some way that I'm 'used to'?!


This post is not intended to offend anyone who has had their sons circumcised, nor outrage anyone reading this who has been circumcised (no need to raise hands), nor imply that people who have had their boys circed should be arrested on the spot and jailed. And I realize that a generation or two back, it was something that you just did. You didn't ask questions. I know that. I just want people to think about it.


I didn't realize that I had such strong feelings about this until I started working as a mother-baby nurse. Fortunately, we had not had Daniel circumcised as a baby because we did research & found that the AAP no longer endorses it. But having seen over and over what it does to the babies, and having seen a few botched/bleeding circs, I just can't see having it done to any baby, period. It's essentially cosmetic surgery, and no thank you. Not for my boys until they are consenting adults & can decide for themselves that it's something they want (I'll think they're crazy, but I'll make the appts if they want them).


Some websites with additional information, should you want it:

http://www.circumcisioninfo.com/
http://www.cirp.org/
http://www.nocirc.org/
www.jewishcircumcision.org
Some of the information is a little extreme but most of it is informative, even for those of us in the field already.

I welcome debate and/or questions. But please keep comments polite, and only comment if you can deal with others disagreeing with you on either side. Thanks.


Now that my rant is done, I hope I still have friends!

School's in!

Today was Daniel's first day of preschool for the year...he is in the 3-year-old class this year and he did quite well on his first day. First thing he said to me today when he woke up: "I go to school today!" So off we went...snack, backpack, and donated school supplies. He is growing up.

Conversation from last night:
Me: "Daniel, be careful. You're going to get dizzy & fall."
Daniel: "No Mama, I'm turning around in CIRCLES!"
Me: "Ok, be careful."
Daniel: "Thank you."
After two more minutes of spinning around:
Daniel: "Mama, the floor is rolling!"

A requisite picture, captioned with Daniel's quote:
"It's in my Pocket."