I'm not sure how to say this other than to just say it. I feel like a hypocrite, esp when it comes to war. I am so proud of our troops, and always have been. People who serve honorably (which is the vast majority, let's be honest) are among my heroes. They are doing a job I could not do, and doing it bravely.

But.

I hate war. I hate the war we are in now, I think it was started on a false premise, and I hate the fact that OUR men and women, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters are over there killing and being killed and that country's police and military and whoever else can just decide not to show up for work whenever they feel like it. I hate the fact that OUR children have to decide whether that man bringing a soldier his sick baby is really bringing the baby or if he's hiding an bomb behind the child. I hate having to look at my brother's USMC bootcamp training schedule and see a couple days labeled as 'Intro to IEDs.' That gives me pause, you know? I hate the fact that that country is freakin' swimming in oil, making a $70 billion profit in oil alone, and WE'RE financing the rebuilding. What really cheeses me off is that this is okay with our president, who has asked for an additional however-many-billion dollars to continue to finance this war. I voted for this man twice, and this is the thanks this country gets. His children aren't the ones out there 'humping the boonies'. (No offense to Jenna and Barbara, I actually like them.)

But I still have a bumper sticker that says "Proud Sister of a United States Marine." A Marine who has already been promoted to Pfc. before boot camp graduation, and will be promoted again when he reports for duty. A Marine whose drill instructor told him that if he kept up the good work he'd be a Sgt. before he's 20. I am really really proud of him. That is the ONLY bumper sticker I have on my car (the 'Gandalf/Aragorn '08' one came down a while back). All that to say - I'm sure some people think that because I am proud of my brother the Marine that I support the war. I don't. And I'm sure that some people think that because I hate this war that I don't support the troops. I do, with all my heart.

It's just that the more I read about war - many different wars - the more pacifist I become.
My grandfather recorded his memories from WW2 and they are enough to make me cry. He was an Army Ranger. My stepfather was amphibious infantry in WW2 as well (he says their motto was "We tear stuff up and kill people.") He refuses to talk about it much, but what little he does say makes me think he hates war too. His unit saw the prison camps where survivors of the Bataan Death March were housed, and saw the survivors themselves. If these are the opinions of two individuals who've been there & done it, that counts for a lot in my book.

I read this book about a month ago called "Battlefield Chaplains", about well, battlefield chaplains during WW2. One chapter includes letters sent to parents from the chaplains and vice versa. One letter from parents to a chaplain on Iwo Jima just about ripped my heart out:

"Did he die quick, with a rifle bullet or was he blown all to hell with a mortar or torn up by shrapnel. Did he last long enough to see the flag go up on Suribachi? ....We spent eighteen years raising this boy and it took eighteen months for the Marines to finish the job, and we have an engraved certificate to show that he died for liberty. You will have to admit that it is a damn sorry swap."

I am probably not making much sense, but I had to get this out. I do not want my brother to go to war.