In my Bible study Monday morning, one of the members whom I love and admire for who she is and how transparent she is (and for the wonderful prison ministry she has!) shared that cursing doesn't faze her in the least. She doesn't curse herself but when others do, it goes in one ear and out the other.
That set me thinking, and I guess I should say from the get-go that I cuss. Most of you who read this won't be surprised but for those that are, I'm sorry for not being more transparent. For me, it is not something that I feel under conviction about. Maybe God has decided He wants me to work on other things first and will eventually get around to that in His time. I don't know. There is plenty that He is working on, but that is not one of them.
I have limits. Out of respect for people whom it does bother, I limit it. And I don't use the word that starts with 'God.' I do draw the line there. And I don't think it should be directed at someone. But the rest, honestly, does not bother me. To me, this is along the same lines as alcohol - for some it is wrong, and for some it is not, and everyone works it out in the best way they can without either side judging the other. Maybe I have it wrong but for now this is where I am.
Thinking about this reminds me of an illustration that writer/speaker Tony Campolo uses when starting off a speech:
"I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night."
I think his quote sums up the crux of the matter for me. I'm certainly open to changing my mind if God works on me about it, but for the moment I think we have so many bigger fish to fry in this world that a swear here and there is just not worth getting worked up about. *
Thoughts?
*Now, I will say this - I do believe there's such a thing as overdoing anything, and swearing is no different. And, I don't believe in overdoing anything just because there's grace to cover it. That's not cool either.
4 comments:
First off, you can't just say whatever the hell you want! (just a little humor) ...
The issue is broader than cussing. Honestly, there's really no difference in meaning between saying "crap" and saying "shit" as one example. The broader issues, in my opinion are this:
1.) Is what one is saying "unwholesome" (that goes WAY beyond cussing)?
2.) Does what one is saying give grace to the hearer?
3.) Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.
I stole this crap from Paul David Tripp (look up youtube Paul David Tripp at Desiring God on the Power of Words and the Glory of God). He uses the word "shit" as his primary illustration.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Burly.
I agree with you that if I say 'darn' when what I'm really thinking is 'damn', I am not really fooling anyone. But is there (to you) a difference between someone saying 'What the hell was THAT noise?' and saying 'F*** you!'
The latter I would agree does not give grace to the hearer, and is exactly why I don't like to hear cursing directed AT people. But what about the former? What constitues 'wholesome' versus 'unwholesome'? Who defines that line? Is it different for you than it is for me, and different for me than it is for, say, my 5-year-old?
I realize this may sound like I'm splitting hairs. I'm just interested in where people draw the line and how they make that decision. Thanks for the insightful comments, Burly. I'm going to do some more thinking.
You asked, "But is there (to you) a difference between someone saying 'What the hell was THAT noise?' and saying 'F*** you!'"
Clearly. But I'd also say that "What the f*** was that noise?" is always inappropriate due to its crude root meaning that is an inappropriate expression of sexuality. I say always inappropriate, because it shouldn't even be used with with a spouse due to its intrinsically culture-laden crude meaning. So that word is always wrong. G.D. is almost always wrong (except when used to express the need for someone preaching a false gospel to be "accursed", which doesn't happen that often and when it does, "let him be accursed should suffice." Again, on the "f" word. Even if it jest toward someone, the phrase "Stop it" or "C'mon now" serves the same purpose without the crude (unwholesome) connotation. On to the word shit. Context rules whether unwholesome or not. I think. Many other curse words are demeaning by nature of the way they are used. We're (the generic "we")not okay with saying "bastard" but we are okay with saying "red-headed step-child" or "taking the short bus" or "retard". Why? Culturally we've made that decision and it's a wrong one *almost* all the time (I say almost, but I can't think of an appropriate time).
I'm writing dogmatically here, but I'm up for push-back or additional comments ... especially as it's your blog post, honkey!
BETH, am reminded of what u said when ur Daniel said a choice word: maybe there's a difference in the words an adult CAN use and those a 5yr old SHOULD use.
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